it began with an early start as usual - 6:15 am i was greeted by the pleasant dinging of my alarm. i got out of bed, got in the shower and decided not to wash my hair until i got home that evening, because i was going to a party and wanted it to be freshly washed (yes i really am giving ALL the details). then i got dressed and put on my make up. it was my h-mum's turn to bring breakfast to work for her colleagues, so she had just baked some grainy bread rolls, and we had them for breakfast too along with large amounts of coffee (i had been up until 12 finishing a maths assignment).
i had packed my bag for school the night before. i knew i had gym, so i had put all my clothes and shoes into a h&m bag along with one of the two maths assignments that i had finished before dinner. oh how much that little bag changed my day. we left slightly early for school, because h-mum wanted to stop off at the bakery to get some more bread for her work breakfast. it was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky, like seriously. blue as blue could be. it was cold and clear, really gorgeous. i marvelled at it all in the car on the way to school. and then i remembered. my h&m bag was sitting on my bed, right where i had left it after i had my shower. aaaand it begins.
we arrived, i went to my first class which was maths and had to sit outside for a few minutes before the teacher arrived. in spite of being up until twelve, there were some parts of the maths that i really and truly just could not understand. firstly, the assignment was written in danish so the word questions were just a little difficult to understand, and keep in mind that i havent done maths for a year and a bit now so it is all a bit of a trip down memory lane for me currently. as we sat outside waiting, a friend in my class helped me to finish off the last few bits and pieces that i didn't quite get. i handed in one of the two assignments that was due, and hoped that my teacher wouldn't notice the missing one, but he did. he asked where it was, and i said i left it at home. he didn't believe me and made a pinnocio joke. it was funny, and i appreciate his sense of humour but i was really embarrassed. he wasn't mad, but the fact that the whole class had gone "oooo" and then laughed made me feel really singled out, which i obviously was because i had done something wrong by not turning it in. being me, i suddenly felt really upset because i was so embarassed and then all my thoughts sort of went in circles of increasing negativity and i ended up sitting there fighting the urge to cry, feeling very alone and very homesick. i was silent for the rest of class.
we had 30 minute break after that, which i also spent mainly in silence except for talking briefly to a friend about going to a dance class that afternoon, and asking if the gym teacher would have spare clothes that i could use for our next class. at this point, i contemplated going home because i couldn't bear the thought of being humiliated again for doing something wrong, but that would have been against the rules of the school so i didn't. i went to gym class, found the teacher and told her i had forgotten my clothes and asked if she had anything i could borrow. she told me she did, but it was all sweaty gross stuff people had left behind so i probably didn't want it. which i didn't. then she told me that i knew the rules, so she had to give me absence for the lesson because if i didn't have gym clothes, i wasn't active and therefore considered absent from class. i could go and do some homework if i wanted to.
i didn't actually know the rules, and i didn't know i would get absence (which i think means i drop a grade in gym), but i did know i should have brought my gear, but i didn't. so that was that. i went upstairs to the changing rooms to get my things, sat in there for a bit considering whether or not i should leave or stay and do homework in the gym where the teacher could see me. i decided to leave because i was feeling pretty crappy and kind of just wanted to roll up into a ball and go to sleep. so i walked to the bus stop, fished out a packet of tissues from my bad and had a little cry while i waited for the bus. i also have a skype app on my phone, so i called tom while i waited. in hindsight it was a bad idea (not that i didnt love talking to you tom, because i truly did xx) because it made me feel even more homesick.
while en route home, i contemplated my next move. i thought about going for a long walk to clear my head, and do my own gym class (sort of) in the process. i also thought about going to bed, going to sleep, staying there until the next morning and voiding the dance class and party that were planned for the afternoon/evening. in the end, i decided to get organized and finish off some homework that i had to get done by monday. i also typed up my maths assignment and sent it to my maths teacher to prove i wasn't lying. i also posted a letter to my lovely sister in france and printed out my ticket for the party last night. in spite of my urge to get into my bed and stay there forever, i didn't. i did productive things, got stuff done, and felt so much better than before. turning point of the day.
i got home, got changed and was picked up by a friend to go to fitness world for a latin mix dance class. when i was there, i couldn't believe that i had even contemplated rolling up in a ball and staying there. i would have missed out on so much fun! afterwards, i went home, showered and washed my hair this time (wooooo). then i got changed, did my make up, my hair, and left to a friends' place for a pre-party/dinner before the party at school. we all ate together, drank a few ciders and caught the bus to school. the party was insane, as normal, and it was rad as :) we arrived at the school at about 9:15. they checked all our tickets and ids and stuff at the door, then we checked our coats and bags in, got our wrist bands etc. they were also doing breath testing to people (if you wanted to, it was like a survey type thing). we danced a lot! there was a dj in the main room who played a dubstep remix of the pirates of the carrbibean theme song.... interesting. there was also a live band in block one playing some good songs - justin timberlake senorita anyone?
it was my second school party this year. it had been a month and a half since the last one and it was really interesting for me to compare how much i have changed, learned and developed during that time. at the first party i was a total newbie, i had been at school for a week and was not at all prepared for the madness that is a boag party. this time, i knew what to expect and thoroughly enjoyed myself. i felt like i made new friends, and got to know some new people who i kind of knew but not that well before.
i think that yesterday was such a combination of everything, and in a weird way, a chance to prove myself. the fact that i was so down in the beginning (thanks h&m bag) could have gone two ways: sad, lethargic, anti-social way or a-chance-to test-my-resilience way. i think i made the right choice :) resilience is like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. i think this was the first step towards turning my flabby tummy of resilience into a more of a bulky, tanned six pack. rock out guys!
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